Knowing our own voice
I am going to spend the next number of blogs considering the our inner and outer worlds and the varying aspects associated.
How do we know our authentic voice? The one that feels like it slots into us with ease and that may be the same or different to what we present to the world? The voice that is able to recognise how we feel about something and able to express that need to others. Take some time to think about what you know about yourself internally and the public self that enounters the world. Do they recognise each other or do they feel like they inhabit differing realms?
In psychological parlance we identify the often divergence between what’s going on inside and what we show to the world as the our real self v our false self. This does not mean that the false self is an artifice, what it means is, that we have had to create a ’face to meet the faces that we meet’ *, so that we can adapt to and integrate ourselves into the social world we inhabit.
Our development from infancy is all about this oscillation between knowing our own voice and mediating and modulating it to meet the public world. There are many opportunities along the way to notice where they are merging and deviating. Each stage of our development requests another aspect to be incorporated-going to school, changing from primary to secondary school, the maelstrom of being a teenager, becoming an adult and then in adulthood all the experiences we meet. These stages are the same for everyone, however some of us have may have to meet great challenges along with the standard steps in life. If we reflect on our lives, without judgement, can we see where we located in the world and if it is congruent or jars with our inner world?
It can be disconcerting to imagine that there might be a difference between what our inner and outer voices are saying. We may come to realise that we spend a lot of time trying to keep our inner voice quiet, as we feel it may not be acceptable or likeable and that may make us unacceptable or unlikeable. Our public self may do all the talking! There may be many painful emotions in the midst of our inner world that we are trying very hard to contain, yet are very aware of it’s existence and persistence. This may not be available to our conscious knowledge and can be experienced as a niggling dis-ease or like we’re carrying something that we do not know but that feels unpleasant.
The navigation within and without is what I will be following over the coming blogs.
* TS Eliot Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock.